January 23, 1998

All things are connected. We don't often know the impact of our photographs on other people, but if we're open to the possibility that every one we make is a little bit of history in and of itself, and that our connection to the people we photograph is itself important, then the importance of our photographs is bound to become known to us.

One of the last photographs I took in 1997 was of firefighter John Usai with Engine Company 81, 46 Hook and Ladder in Kingsbridge, the Bronx.

In mid December I was at his engine company to cover an assignment of a little boy who has been battling leukemia for 5 of his almost 7 years. One of his wishes was to visit a firehouse, which was made possible by Chris Edwards, another firefighter at the 81. I spent the afternoon there, as the guys presented the little boy with a big red firetruck, made him a special lunch (one of those legendary firehouse meals), gave him a t-shirt and a cap with the engine company logo, AND, took him out on a run in one of the firetrucks, horns and sirens "a-blasting". That it wasn't a trip to a real fire made no difference to little Philip, nor did it to this photographer, who had her first ride in a firetruck as well. Instead, we went to a local Carvel, where the guys bought him an early 7th birthday cake to eat back at the house, a birthday cake that read: "Welcome Fireman Philip."

I was privileged to spend a few moments sitting across from John Usai, who, still geared up from a previous run to a real fire, was relaxing and "in the moment" of our special birthday cake mission. I made a few pictures of John looking out the window, but mostly we just talked.

The story ran on Christmas Day with two pictures (probably not the ones I'd have chosen) but I didn't much care. I had met a spunky little kid who has endured leukemia, a stroke, and many other assaults on his body, is wheelchair bound, and fighting for his life, but he is also endowed with a sense of humor and vitality that most of us take for granted. The day was so special for me that I felt it was an early Christmas gift.

John Usai: In Memoriam Susan B. Markisz