Good Judgment/Bad Judgment: The Picture that Never Was

In the middle of an assignment over Memorial Day weekend, I got a page from an editor with an assignment to photograph a woman who had undergone a bilateral mastectomy...she had not had reconstructive surgery, and that was the story...

"You've had a mastectomy, Susan, haven't you?" he asked. I've never made my own experience with breast cancer a secret and so I'm pretty certain this is why I was called for this particular assignment.

I asked the editor what kind of photograph he was looking for and he told me: "an environmental portrait." I then asked him whether a straight portrait would suffice, or was he looking for something that pushed the envelope, a little artistic, maybe even abstract, and he said: "see what works."

The assignment was scheduled for Memorial Day, Monday at 9:30 am and he emphasized to me not to be late. When I was at the office that Saturday afternoon, waiting to see my film from an earlier assignment, I called the woman to confirm our appointment for Monday morning and to verify her address. It was about 6:30 pm .

The woman was irritated. She said she had already received "4 or 5 phone calls" and that I was interrupting her holiday weekend, with out of town company. I apologized profusely but told her I was merely confirming the appointment. I told her I had also had breast cancer, and a mastectomy and that I would be doing her portrait. I said I noted in my assignment instructions to be on time and I wanted to know if she had any time constraints that I should be aware of. She said, yes, that as she had already indicated, it was a holiday weekend and she wanted to spend as little time as possible, that she had a 7 year old son and company and ...and...

I probably should have known not to go there, but I cautiously broached the subject of the type of photo we might be able to do in addition to a straight portrait. She asked me what I had in mind. I told her I wasn't sure, but certainly with a short time frame, I wanted her to give it some thought as to what we might do, certainly no nudity, I said, but possibly something abstract, where she might not be identifiable, with a drape or something sheer. She said: "I've already told them that it's either a straight portrait or nothing. I've written already written a book on the subject, and I've had my portrait taken and I've got company from out of town, and a 7 year old child at home, and at the very most, you've got 15 minutes."

I thought: "whoa!" But I said: "I understand completely and that's absolutely fine, there is absolutely no pressure on you to do something that you're uncomfortable with . I assure you I'll be in and out in under 15 minutes." And we left it that I'd be there Monday. She took my home phone number and pager.

On Sunday afternoon, I got a page from another editor that the assignment had been cancelled. I suddenly had a feeling in the pit of my stomach and I explained to her that the conversation I had had with her been borderline unpleasant and what the gist of our conversation had been. She told me not to worry about it that she had been disagreeable to her as well from the get-go and it was just as well. Still, it didn't sit too well with me, because I learned she'd left a message with the original assigning editor, who wouldn't be in until Monday.

On Monday, I called the original assigning editor (not the one who'd given ME the assignment, though) to explain what had transpired. After getting her voicemail several times, about a half hour later, she called me at home to ask why the assignment had gone south. I went through the scenario once again and the editor told me that the woman had called her and left the following message on her voicemail: "the photographer had called and asked me to pose with a sheer blouse and that I'm not willing to do that, or the photograph anymore---period."

The editor asked me whether I had been forthcoming about my own breast cancer experience and I told her that yes, it was one of the first things I'd said, but that I felt there was something else going on here, that I'd felt she was a reluctant subject from the beginning. I felt as if I'd walked into a hornet's nest.

Exasperated, the editor told me she had assigned this as a straight environmental portrait, nothing more and that the woman was short of time. The assignment had passed through two more editors (making at this point a total of three) before it reached me. Had I had this information, I never would have even approached the subject with possibilities she had made clear were not options.

I offered to call up the woman and explain that it was not my intention to compromise her dignity in any way. But the editor said no. And she told me to forget about it. Not your fault, she said.

But I spent more than good part of my holiday replaying this incident and trying to come to terms with what I might have done differently. As in all things hindsight is 20/20. At first I was feeling very angry about the woman's taking out of context what I'd said. Then I was concerned that I had dealt insensitively with the subject; I also worried about four editors wondering about Markisz's people skills, not to mention my perceived expertise in a sensitive matter.

What I can say is this: With all my ruminating on the subject, I learned something from the experience. With the information I had, and with a window of 15 minutes and an attempt to come away with something more than a standard shot, I felt I was justified in making the options available. All the woman had to do was to say no.

But in the future, in a situation like this, my advice is to shoot first, get your picture, standard or otherwise, and to push the envelope if need be, to ask questions later.

Behind the Viewfinder - A Year in the Life of Photojournalism
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