“I envied you and the job you have. When you first walked in here I thought, ‘Oh, My. How exciting to be a newspaper photographer. You must cover such interesting people and things.’ But, after seeing what you just went through, I no longer envy you. You poor thing.”

These words were spoken to me by the parent of a child who was one of many in the schoolroom where I photographed The Assignment From Hell.

Those of you who have read my journals have probably gotten the impression that I am a bitcher. Hmmm. Is it that obvious? Well, let me assure you that it takes a little bit of momentum to get me started.

Take today, for example. Three assignment is one and a half hours in two counties. Not exactly conducive to great photojournalism. Frankly, if I had all the time in the world, these assignments wouldn’t have yielded much in the way of art. All of them came from two reporters who are known for writing about the trite and the mundane.

I did the best job that I could on the first two and then rushed to the elementary school in Levittown where a second grade class had collected nickels and dimes in order to adopt a pair of gray seals that had been stranded on our Long Island shores and were being nursed back to health by a local organization that does that kind of thing.

The school was typical of the elementary schools on the island in that it was a one story building that sprawled over acres of ground. There were probably a dozen doors around the building. Guess which one might be open? Security at LI schools is pretty rigid but there is usually one door kept unlocked for visitors and such. And there is usually a monitor posted at that entry to take names and direct people to the main office. And, that door is usually the main door in the front of the building. But, not always. So, with about 40 pounds of camera bag over my right shoulder, balanced by the heavy Gitzo Studex tripod in my left hand, I started at the front and trudged around the perimiter of the building, tugging on doors and muttering under my breath at each failure. At this point, I was fit to be tied. I found myself back at my car and I threw my gear in the trunk and radioed the Day Photo Editor that the goddam building was locked and screw them if they didn’t want me to come in and take their goddam picture anyway.

Bob is used to hearing my ravings and suggested that I sit tight and he would phone the school and they would let me in. Which they did. Of course, I didn’t miss the opportunity to tell the people in the main office what I thought about their security.

Now I get to the classroom. There are about 25 second graders who are all excited about getting their photos in the paper. However, I have to explain to the teacher that we don’t normally run large group shots because they just don’t reproduce well and they make lousy photos. And, the writer had stated in her assignment request, that I just get the teacher and two of the students whom she had interviewed. BUT, since I am such a nice guy and have four kids and three grandkids of my own, I understand how disappointed the kids will be if they are not in the picture. So, I arrange the kids that I need in the foreground with the teacher and the parent of one of the kids who was involved in the project, and have the entire rest of the class in the background. Not a great work of art, but, it will do. And, then the teacher blindsides me with, “And where will the other two classes stand?”

“Say WHAT?”

She tells me that there are two other second grades at the school and they all worked on the project. I tried to explain that I was breaking every rule by including her entire class in this shot. How the hell was I supposed to fit in two more classes? She pleaded with me, saying that it wouldn’t be fair not to show the other participants in this project. Couldn’t I at least include the two teachers to show that the other classes were involved? My instincts told me “no” but I was being worn down by this assignment from Hell and by now, I just wanted to get out of there and grab some coffee and a donut. It took a few minutes to round up the other teachers, and sure as God made little yellow film cassettes, both teachers were steaming because I wouldn’t include their students.

I must have spent twenty minutes trying to explain that if I showed all 80 or 90 people in the photo, it would look like 80 or 90 gray blobs that no one could recognize, even if the paper ran the shot. Which they probably would not. I patiently told them that it was my duty as a newspaper photographer to try to get as good a photo as I could that was relevant and eye catching enough to attract the reader and draw him/her to the story. That way, everyone on Long Island would know what a wonderful thing the students did, even if not all of them were gray blobs in the paper. My entreaty fell on deaf ears. They wanted to know if I would at least allow a few representatives of the other classes to join in the shot. By now I had absolutely no spine. Nor did I have any interest in this photo, whatsoever. So, they paraded another dozen kids into the frame. I told everyone to look at this round glass thingie in front of my camera and I cranked off six quick frames, packed up and left.

That's when the parent of one of the kids told me that she no longer envied me. And she was right. Good grief!

Behind the Viewfinder - A Year in the Life of Photojournalism
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